“When did you first defend me to someone else?”

Built for distance. Answer it apart, wherever you are, and send it — post it, photograph it, read it down the phone. Then it’s the other one’s move.

Why this question

The conversation I never heard, where you took my side before I'd strictly earned it.

And once you’ve both answered

Post this one. It reads best at a distance. Your move.

Answering it honestly

Answer it on your own, wherever you are, before you see theirs. Distance is the feature here, not the obstacle.
Send the actual answer — post the page, photograph it, read it down the phone. Then it's their move.
Resist the urge to soften it in transit. The unedited version is the one worth posting.

And the house rule, whatever the mode: leave a blank rather than write a lie. A blank can be filled later; a lie sits in the archive forever, and you both have to live with the paperwork.